Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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