Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
