I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Damn victory sex feels great
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
