That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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