if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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