My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need to sanitize my soul.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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