I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
