the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
