Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Randomize
