why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
