Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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