I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
should my penis look like a turkey
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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