Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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