i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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