just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ladies don't puke and tell
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
