capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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