i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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