is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
