I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
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