It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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