you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
vagina is talking i cant
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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