I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
