C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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