from now on my penis is your penis
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
