Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
