Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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