your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
