i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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