4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Text me some of your sweat
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
