It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize