Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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