i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize