Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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