yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
