i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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