can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize