You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
