My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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