Don't make out with my wife yet
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What a dumb baby whore.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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