he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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