my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
