Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
