the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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