shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So. Much. Porn.
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