it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
