So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i think i just lost a toe
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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