He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
