you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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