He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sext me about skeletons
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
