He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
