By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
did you just send me my own nude
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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