So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
