you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
