Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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