It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
