someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Jerry, you need to find god
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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