Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
