You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize