Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
