it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
