she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
