That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sorry my hands just texted you
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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