I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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